language of the EU

Not sure if you've heard or not, but the European Commission has recently announced an agreement whereby english will be the official language of the European Union, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations the British Government conceded that English Spelling had some room for improvement, and has accepted a 5-year phase-in-plan that would become known as "Euro-English"

In the first year, the "s" will be replace the soft "c". Sertainly this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expected to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e" in the languag is discrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z", and "w" with "v"

During the fifz yer ze unesersery "o" kan be droped from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer ve vil hav a real sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und after ze fifz yer ve vil al be speaking german like zey vanted in ze first plas.